the new Friday
For just this week, I get to pretend that Thursday is the new Friday. Yup, off tomorrow. I may go on the Target trip with Karen. I may stay home & get stuff done. Either way, I’ve promised myself a Starbucks trip. And, either way, it’s a mental break from some work stuff that has been weighing on me this week. I need a little distance. I need this "free" day before the flurry of holiday really begins.
Another thing that has been weighing on me this week is Mommy guilt. Hope has 2 new activities in front of her that she’d like to do, and I’m very conflicted about whether or not to allow them. One is an afterschool Friday Ski/Board club. One is a highly competitive, elite soccer team. Remember, she’s also currently playing on 2 soccer teams, just joined the yearbook committee, and is maintaining honor roll status. The ski/board club is kind of a no brainer – it’s 5 Fridays. It’s a chance for her to make good use of her new snowboard & gear (a spring birthday gift from her Dad). It’s only 5 Friday’s on the mountain. It’s really the soccer team that I’m struggling with. It’s a compliment that they asked her to come try out for them. Several of the organizers have watched her play, and see talent. Playing on this team would give her cred as she tries out for the high school team in the fall. Playing on this team would teach her skills that she’s not likely to get otherwise. However….playing on this team would add more practices to her week. It’s a travel team, so we’d have to cart her all over the place (out of state) for tournaments. At our expense. It’s also an expensive team to play for – hundreds of dollars to just put her on the team. My intuition is telling me "it’s too much…too much time, pressure, and money." My Mommy guilt is telling me "just figure it out."
Part of that same Mommy guilt is feeling selfish that I can’t just devote my every waking minute to my kids. That I’m not one of those Moms that sacrifices her own life to give her kids everything they desire. Due to my job, the majority of the taxi service in our house falls on Rob. He drops off, he picks up…and he even manages to coach. I write the checks and show up at games. I know that’s oversimplifying, but still. So, I’m feeling selfish that I don’t want to give up every weekend, every family travel opportunity, every Sunday family day, not to mention several hundred dollars, for Hope to play on this team. There, I said it out loud. Kick me out of the good Mommy club.
One last thing, then I have to dash off to the dentist….did you watch LOST last night? OH. MY. GOD. That first scene with Walt? Freakin’ scary.
Happy Thursday…er…new Friday y’all.
6 Comments
Lisa
I wish I had some great advice about what you should do about the travel soccer. You are not the only Mom who struggles with these issues. I wrote something in my blog about it a while back, about not being a “helicopter” parent. On the one hand, it sounds like a wonderful opportunity for her. I think its great for girls to be into sports, especially teens. There’s just too many distractions if they are not focused on something positive. One the other hand, there’s only so many hours in the week and you need to think about the quality of life in the equation. It sounds like between you & your dh it’s a good balance of resposibilities. The ski/board club sounds like alot of fun. A good social outlet. My boys are on the ski team, but it’s not as fun as a club.
Sonia
Don’t let the mommie guilt get to ya! IF she weren’t already on 2 other soccer teams, I’d probably say go for it. Either way, you’ll make the right decision.
Oh, and lost? WOW…that whole Walt thing creeps me out!
Shannon
I’m going to offer some words of wisdom from a former travelling softball player. I think it boils down to what Hope really wants. Does she understand the committment? Does she want to do this? Is it going to interfere too much with the other soccer teams and school? I never realized until I was in college how much my parents sacraficed of their time and money (until I was employed) to let me play ball. Don’t get me wrong, I loved it, for the most part. But it was a sacrifice for my mom and dad to go to Bakersfield (isn’t that really a sacrifice for everyone?) or Lodi or San Francisco and sit in 100 plus degree weather to watch their kid play ball. I’m glad they were willing to do it and I appreciate it. So you have to decide how much she wants it and how much you’re willing to give.
On that note, you are not selfish. Let’s face reality here, unless you’re married to someone rich, you just can’t survive very well one one income in this world (believe me, I know this, I try to do it every day). It’s simple economics. If Hope wants to play on the travelling team, or any other team for that matter, you have to work. There’s nothing wrong with having you own needs and your own life. I think it’s a huge mistake for parents to sacrifice their own personal lives/wants/goals for their kids. It sends the message that you’re a martyr and everything you do is for the kid. Kids need to know that while they are the most important thing in your life, they aren’t the only thing. Not only that, parents are supposed to prepare their children for the world. And in the world, we all know that you don’t always get what you want. As long as you have what you need, you’re okay. Hopefully, this has been somewhat helpful to you. Hang in there. I know that you will make the right decision. You always do. Hence the beautiful family.
karen
no wise advice here ’cause i just can’t think that hard now. only… yeah target!!!!!!
renee
Today is my Friday also, since tomorrow is Veteran’s Day and the kids have off school. So, I can’t think hard enough to give you advice, either. I’m too wiped out. I’m sure it will turn out fine in the end, no matter which way you go.
Alison
Hey! Thursday was friday for me, too because of the Armistice holiday. It’s goooooood.