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the elephant in the room.

Painted_elephant_-_Jaipur(source)

The blogosphere is a funny place of polished images, carefully chosen stories, and spit-shined life stories. We write, we post photographs, and we even occasionally "keep it real." I shudder to think that I too often sound like "y'all, I'm totally keeping it real…I haven't been to yoga in 3 weeks, I've stopped at Starbucks every day (twice), and I bought NON-ORGANIC apples. Please don't hate me!" As my kids would say…first world problems.

So. Hang onto your pinot noir. As my kids would also say…sh*t's about to get real. I've dropped hints. I've skirted around. And I'm exhausted by the careful avoidance. Let's just talk about the elephant in the room: 

I am getting a(nother) divorce. Rob moved out. And we are all okay.

I can't say that this is a journey that I never expected to take. I've gotten far too honest with myself for that fairytale nonsense. The only explanation that I owe is to myself, my children, and the person that I've spent the past 17 years with. For everyone else (including YOU, dear reader)…

*Know that we love our family fiercely. We believe that marriage can end without family ending.

*Know that I will welcome love, support, and Starbucks giftcards…and I will dismiss criticism. Insert some wisdom about those living in glass houses here.

*Know that Rob and I both believe that we can move through this time with kindness & grace. I'm better at it some days than others…but I try really hard.

*Know that I owe a crazy huge debt to the village that supports me on a daily basis. They (virtually & in person) wipe my tears, listen to my struggles, give me hope, and tell me to wear eye shadow. I hope that you're lucky enough to have peeps like mine.

*Know that for any/every disparaging thought that you're thinking about me? I've thought about myself…at least twice daily. Save your energy. I've got that covered.

I've spent A LOT of time in lovingkindness meditation lately. 

May I/you/all living beings be happy.

May I/you/all living beings be healthy.

May I/you/all living beings live with ease.

Namaste, friends. xoxo

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22 Comments

  • justem

    who is sending you disparaging thoughts? i will find that person and show them the light. 😉
    personally, i am sending you the love and support you should already know you have, but in case you aren’t sure after my “no comment” p&g comment yesterday – it’s here. it’s big. it’s real and it’s for YOU.
    proud of you, and proud to call you my friend. 🙂

  • gabby

    you, my dear, are one tough and amazing lady.
    and real– really real, not just i skipped yoga for three weeks real. 😉
    no one should ever levy judgement on someone else’s experiences. that makes me crazy for you. sigh.
    i know from the times i’ve been here and emailed with you how fiercely you love your family. how devoted and loyal and incredible you are. you will get through this– with your village and some starbucks and knowing that you are oh so loved and respected.
    wish i could be at stumptown coffee-ing with you all.
    xoxoxo.

  • josie

    You are a strong woman who I know loves your family dearly – only you know what is best for you and your family!
    Hugs and love and support to you during this transition.
    “We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.”

  • Steph

    You, my friend, are a tough cookie. A cookie of the organic HFCS free variety of course. Hang in there and know the ventage girls will always be there for you.

  • libbywilko

    Sending you big hugs and I hope you keep your positivity wrapped around you to block any of those negative thoughts! Be happy.

  • Dianne

    Just reading this post. So sorry to hear. Can’t believe anyone would try to make you feel bad about this. Just from reading your posts, I think you are probably tougher on yourself than anyone else could ever be. So be gentle with yourself lady! This too shall pass. Hopefully putting the news “out there” is one small step toward making things easier.

  • Katherine Ware

    Sending tons of lovingkindness your way, Katrina, and peace to deal with this rough transition. You need a starbucks card? I’m your gal!! just email me your address!! Namaste, sweet friend!

  • Billie

    You know the real deal…cause you made that elephant — beautiful!
    Big hugs my friend, peace, love and light for all of you.
    Billie

  • AmySo

    Katrina, was just catching up on your blog and just wanted to add my support to all those peeps who are taking care of you! I hope the process goes smoothly as possible for you and that the scar tissue is minimal. Hugs!

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