reverb remix 2013 : year in review

9. Year in Review. As you reflect back on the happenings of 2013, what were your high points and what were your low points? What do you notice as you look back on the year as a whole?

My year started with such promise…with a delicious sense of possiblity. I was in the midst of exploring an opportunity that felt life-changing. It felt like a reward for all of my hard work (both in a career sense, and in a personal sense). I vision-boarded around it. I wrote & repeated affirmations. I meditated. I believed that this was my time to soar.

And then it didn't become a reality. 

I was disappointed, heartbroken, and flat-out pissed….and that was just the first few weeks. What I didn't realize is that I allowed the experience to cloud my view of my life in general. I had done everything "right"…and I didn't get what I wanted/needed. At the same time, two relationships were falling apart. Both with dear friends, whom I love deeply. Both, in part, as a result of events in their lives that had nothing to do with me. Again – disappointed, heartbroken, and flat-out pissed.

Those two issues formed the center of my year, and the edges were colored in with pain, adrenal fatigue, financial challenges, typical teenage parenting woes, and general sadness. Everything was hard. I stopped believing that things could be better, and stopped believing that I deserved better. As I look back over the year, I think that I can sum it up this way – I stopped doing the work. I hosted a months-long pity party with an open bar, and all the bread & cheese that one can eat. I hesitated to share with 100% honesty b/c I didn't want to hear divorce backlash (I had some of that this year, also). Let me be clear – the elements of my year that sucked had nothing to do with divorce. It was still the right decision, and I am completely confident in that truth. 

The highs? Brunches with besties. Barb & Kat's Excellent (staycation) Adventures. A Very Ventage Weekend. Lots of kale. Bike rides. Sleeping in on Saturdays (& Sundays). Allowing myself to create boundaries with gentle lines. Trusting (in the case of those dear friends) that love wins. Texts from Kelly and Barb that made me laugh. Gently letting go with a genuine "there's nothing more that I can do" sentiment. Moments when angels were clearly at work. 

I'm going to be wrapping up the last Reverb reflection post tomorrow, and then moving on to the manifesting prompts. The solstice feels like a new beginning to me, so I am celebrating the New Year a bit early.