reverb remix 2013 : well-being

6. Well-Being. How was your overall well-being in 2013? You can think of your overall well-being as a composite of six domains: Interpersonal, Communal, Occupational, Physical, Psychological, and Economic (I COPPE; Prilleltensky, 2011). Do you notice that your overall well-being was influenced by one of these domains more so than the others?

This is the prompt that I've been turning over in my head for weeks. The short answer to "how was your overall well-being?"…not good. At the beginning of 2013, I thought that it was the year that I would be/feel "whole & healed." Uhm, not so much. I've spent so much time trying to dissect the pieces, the reasons, that made the year difficult. Working through each of these domains…

Interpersonal – some relationships strengthened, some faltered, and some just maintained the status quo. Dating was generally a disaster (although JTT was fun), but did provide fodder for a lot of emails/texts with Barb & Kelly (most starting with WTF???). I do have AMAZING friends, and I don't want to overlook that. I am very fortunate. I had my heart broken by some that are dear to me, and I'm still working through that hurt & hoping to rebuild stronger relationships.

Communal – I spent a lot of time alone this year, which may not have always been the healthiest choice (from a wellness perspective). I pondered a couple of meet-up groups, and even attended a meditation group for a few weeks, but nothing really seemed to "click." I did some work with Women Helping, but not as much as in years past. At my core, I'm an introvert, so community is an area that requires a lot of courage and work.

Occupational – An opportunity early in the year fell through, and I spent a lot of time questioning my abilities/my worth. A ton of stress & change in the dynamics at work meant a year of feeling unsteady. The beauty biz isn't always glossy. I'm in the process of writing affirmations for the year ahead. I am ready for success.

Physical – UGH. As I sit here writing this post, I am STILL 20-25lbs heavier than I should be. Being heavy feels heavy…it's less about what I look like, and more about how I feel. I worked with a naturopath, a kinesiologist, and an acupuncturist this year. Each taught me something valuable, and gave me insight into the changes that I need to make (knowing vs doing continues to be the challenge). Acupuncture made a huge difference in my pain levels this year, and that gives me hope for next year. 

Psychological – I don't feel like I walked the talk this year. I rattled around in my head far too much, replaying old tapes of not being enough, failing, and being stuck. I "trusted" the Universe with fingers crossed behind my back. I let fear and ego get in the way A LOT. Mostly? I was mentally tired.

Economic – double UGH. This year was brutal. I don't mean "oh, I should cut back on daily lattes"…I mean "sh*t, wonder how I'll pay that bill." I'll be honest – it feels like punishment. It feels like I'm not allowed in the "abundance" club. There is a plan, and I am working the plan, but the stress of trying to stay above water is exhausting. (I hesitated to even answer this question "publicly" b/c I have deeply engrained money issues, but I'm putting this out there in the spirit of "out of the darkness into the light.")

I think that my overall well-being was influenced strongly by economic stress and physical setbacks. I actually hadn't ever broken it down into these domains, and it has been enlightening to do so. Here's to a more whole and more healed 2014….