a heaping dose of worry

Here it is, 10:35pm – and I’m trying to get my head around the fact that I have to go back to work tomorrow. I always dread the first day back. I somehow reason that they *must* have figured out how to function without me. As if I’ll walk in the door and they’ll say "gee, we don’t really need you after all." I’m really good at that sort of paranoia.

Got back into the WW routine today. Learning my way around points again. Even had Rob take a picture of me in yoga pants & a tank top (no, I won’t be posting it here). I needed it as a visual cue that I’m not exactly fat – I’m just not as fit as I’d like to be. Not as toned. Not as healthy. So, I bought $43 of produce today, stayed away from chocolate, and broke a sweat playing basketball with the kids after dinner. Tomorrow am, I’ll get moving with these bad boys…

nothing like a new pair of sneakers to get a girl motivated.

It’s back to routine for Austin tomorrow, too….he starts soccer camp. Which also means a little transportation managing for me. I’m hoping to hook up with some carpooling so that I’m not late to work every day this week. Ugh.

Hope is back from VA, safe & sound. She tells me that her Dad’s start date is 8/22, and that he signed a contract on a house there. WHY can’t he inform me of these things himself?? I’m trying (not succeeding) to not be bitter about the whole new/big house, new/big salary, new/big life that he’s walking into. I know, I know….what he’s losing is so much more valuable than what he’s gaining. But it’s hard to keep that perspective when I’m staring down a mountain of bills and counting the minutes until payday. Sigh.

So that’s how this vacation is wrapping up – with a heaping dose of worry. Worry about re-entry into work. Worry about managing summer camp schedules. Worry about the transitions for Hope. Worry about money. Worry about weight.

Well, time to leave this pity party & go to bed. G’night.