these are the days….

Yesterday was awful. So awful that I wasn’t even sure that I could write about it here. These are the days that I wonder "why does life have to be so hard?"

Hope’s dad called me on the way to work yesterday am. He announced that he’s applied for a transfer back to California. The final decision will be made next week, and if it’s to move, he’ll likely go in July. His wife & son will stay here to sell the house, and then join him in August. Some would cheer if their ex-husband was moving 3000 miles away. Maybe I’ll eventually cheer, too. But not now. I could care less if the ex-husband part of him moves…it’s the Hope’s-dad part of him moving that breaks my heart.

After this news, I pulled into the parking lot at work, walked into my boss’s office…hysterically crying…and told him that I was going home for the day. His very pragmatic reaction was "but you have custody, right?" Yes, I have custody. Hope isn’t going anywhere.

I think he is being so selfish. He has no reason to leave his daughter. He lives about 3 miles from us, and sees her every week. He’s been a regular part of her life. He comes to basketball games, soccer games, band concerts, and dance recitals. He picks her up on every holiday. He takes her snowboarding every winter. He has a son who adores his big sister. He has a pregnant wife. He has a nice home, and a good job. And he has a daughter who is 13 that he’s apparently ready to move away from. I asked him why he couldn’t wait 5 years (a blink of an eye!) – he said he’s ready now. It’s not about you, jerk.

He’s already told Hope. He actually told her before he told me. Naturally, she is devastated. He says it’s not definite yet. THEN WHY TELL HER?? Why doesn’t he see that he’s already sent her the message that he would leave her? So, if he doesn’t move this time, doesn’t he think that she’ll worry about what comes next?

We will hold Hope tight and do our best to help her through this. But her world has changed. I am so very, very sad.