hard things & lessons.


It has been a FULL week…and I mean full as in so many things, not full as in seven simple days. I feel like I have finally caught my breath. And then I read this article and was finally able to exhale.

Last week, Dan & I showed up & stood for ourselves, our relationship, and our family. It wasn't fun. It didn't feel good. It wasn't my favorite. *And we survived…grateful for each other, and grateful that we can do hard things. Then I got on a plane Saturday morning, and the adrenaline wore off…and my mind started to spin a bit. Just a bit, b/c I spent the weekend with Barb, and y'all already know that she can stop the spin with wine, laughter, and all the talking. And then I flew home, and sprinted through the Detroit airport, and landed in VT more than a little physically & emotionally drained. We headed to Montreal that night for our (almost) weekly Self Expression & Leadership Program. Brutal truth – tensions had flared just before we walked into the course, and I kinda lost it during the course (kindly referred to as a breakdown). I cried on the way home. I raised my voice on the way home, and yet still couldn't find the words to express what I was really feeling. The bottom line? I was feeling raw & hurt by the hard things from last week. 

By the time we were back home, after all the talking…all was well. I still felt a little beat-up by life, but I also felt loved by Dan.

Today, I opened up Feedly, and read the above post from Hands Free Mama. So effin' much of that post resonates with me. "That hurtful person can teach you how to be a more compassionate human being who someday makes someone else’s life better with that knowledge." Yes. The *situation that was hurtful last week can teach me to be more compassionate. 

The post talks about making a pledge. "Whatever they did, make a pledge. Promise yourself that you’ll never treat anyone the way they treated you. This is how you become a kinder and more compassionate person. This is how you learn from their mistakes."  Wise words. Today, I'm pledging to be an unapologetic "bonus mom." I'm pledging to trust in the life that Dan & I are creating. I'm pledging to be gentle with myself. I'm pledging to acknowledge my strength. I'm pledging to be vulnerable & authentic. 

*I know…it's one of those annoying cryptic blog posts. Rest assured, this post is NOT about me & Dan. We are happy, healthy, and planning on becoming Mr & Mrs Holtz. Just wanted to clarify for those of you who worry!


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